Friday, November 13, 2009

And so it begins...

I stopped taking birth control four weeks ago. For months, we disagreed about timing. I'm sure you can imagine what DH and I argued about and who was on what side: I was eager to get started and he wanted to wait.

"I'm not getting any younger!" He heard that a few times. I want to be done with having kids before I'm 35. I turn 31 this year, and we want to have two. Conclusion: now would be the time to get cracking.

"But I'm home from work!" That's argument number two. I got jaded by the corporate world and opted out. For nine months I've been home launching a career as a writer. Nine months I could have been writing and being pregnant.

"We crossed everything off of our B.C. list!" That's our Before Children list, to you. We actually had one, and we did most thinks on it. Finish grad school? Check. Get married? Check. vacation in exotic places? Climb Mount Kilimanjaro? Check and check. We even got a fair bit of spontaneous fun in from time to time. How's that for sowing our oats?

"Honey, we can afford a baby." That's my argument number four. It responds to his one and only argument. He wishes there were more money in the bank. By no means are we poor (this year we took a $25,000 vacation), but I walked away from a six figure salary and he's upset that we don't own a house. We live in one of the most expensive housing markets in the U.S., and lots of folks here don't own a house. I figure if we put the kibosh on $25,000 vacations, we'll be fine :)

So, how did it happen? How did we decide to start trying? Or, rather, how did I get DH to agree? I wish I had something exciting or dramatic to report, but the truth is, we learned a couples' negotiation technique that helped us settle it. My preference before going into the negotiation was to actively try. He wanted to start in no sooner than six months. We walked out of the negotiation somewhere in the middle: we'd let the universe decide.

Letting the universe decide meant going off of birth control. Not trying to conceive, but also not trying not to conceive. So, here we are, four and a half weeks since the first day of my last period. Technically, I'm late :)

1 comment:

  1. I'm excited to follow you on this journey. This is basically what my husband and I are doing. If it happens, it happens. :D

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