I got my period this morning, proving my "I'm pregnant" hunch false. Am I disappointed? Yes. But this false alarm served a higher purpose: getting me up to speed on tons of things I needed to know.
It all started last week when a set of tangible pregnancy-like symptoms emerged. My period was late, I was tired and nauseous, and none of my regular foods seemed appealing. I had pelvic cramping that didn't feel like cramps, sometimes I felt euphoric, and my emotional state completely changed. Figuring I'd better be safe than sorry, I ran out and bought "What to Expect Before You're Expecting" and "Eating Well When You're Expecting" and dropped everything to get reading.
When I went off of birth control, my plan had been clear: live life like normal and hopefully get pregnant. Our OB/GYN told us to assume we could get pregnant naturally and to try for six months before even considering fertility diagnostics. She put me on prenatal vitamins and made sure my vaccinations were up to date. It never occurred to me that there was more to consider.
For example, I didn't know how important the first 10 weeks are to baby's development. I didn't know that drinking during this time could be damaging. Drawing on common sense, I figured that many women drank before they knew they were pregnant, so I thought this would be fine. And, maybe it is. But the point is, I didn't know this was even a "maybe". Just like I didn't know to avoid green tea, or the importance of being at the right pre-pregnancy weight, and how certain of the fathers' habits (such as marijuana smoking) are related to birth defects...
So, I am disappointed that we're not pregnant. But I'm also relieved. There's a lot more I need to find out. Giving up things as if I were pregnant also gave me an appreciation for what I will miss. This morning I spent a good long time in the jacuzzi and right now I am enjoying a glass of wine. I'll do all this and more until my first day of ovulation. Carpe diem!
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