Thursday, December 17, 2009

Should I even attempt to conceal early pregnancy from relatives at Christmas? 7 reasons why not...

  1. I will get the "are you pregnant?" question just like I do every year, and it will be hard for me to lie.
  2. I will have to endure the "you guys really ought to start having kids" lecture just like I do every year, and I will be tempted to spill the beans just so they'll get off my back.
  3. I really like drinking and I will be under suspicion for not touching alcohol (I rave about my uncle's Brandy Alexanders all year and I am usually in charge of choosing the wine)
  4. In past years, I have joined my MIL in the occasional cigarette and I never mind when she smokes in her house or car--this year I will have to ask her not to
  5. I'm extremely tired and lethargic these days, and I can only pass it off as jet lag for so long
  6. I am already sensitive to smells, nausea, eating at strange times, and am having other "dead giveaway" pregnancy symptoms
  7. If anyone finds my prenatal vitamins (which I was taking anyway ::rolls eyes::), speculation will abound

Can I really get away with keeping this a secret? If so, how? Would love to hear thoughts and advice!

5 comments:

  1. I would say that if drinking and smoking are normal and somewhat expected behaviors from you, you abstaining from those things is DEFINITELY going to raise a flag for some people. However, the smoking thing is easy enough to skirt; perhaps you could explain you are making an early New Year's resolution to cut back/quit, and explain to your mother in law that the secondhand smoke has begun to bother you and would she mind not doing it around you?

    As for the alcohol, perhaps you could still accept a glass of whatever it is you want to drink and sneak off to empty it in sinks, toilets, etcetera. Or make yourself a "cocktail" that's alcohol free. No one but you needs to know there's no liquor in it.

    As for being sensitive to smells/throwing up, perhaps you could explain that something you ate didn't agree with you or you're getting over some sort of stomach bug (but assure folks you're not contagious).

    If you're wanting to keep it a secret, those are a few suggestions... But if you feel comfortable letting the proverbial cat out of its' bag, then by all means announce! I've been pregnant twice; my first ended in miscarriage and I'm almost 36 weeks pregnant right now. My husband and I told everyone we knew, literally the day after we found out. When we lost the first baby, the support we got was so fantastic I cannot imagine having to have gone through that without their help and love. I'm not one of those "you have to wait until the 2nd trimester to tell" people... It really just all depends on what you're comfortable with. If you DO announce, though, be prepared for a whole NEW slew of questions.
    "When are you due?"
    "How are you feeling?"
    "Do you have (fill in the symptom here)?"
    "I think it's a girl."
    "I think it's a boy."
    "In my day, when I was pregnant..."

    ;)

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  2. Could you say you're just getting over a bad cold or something? You could say you're still tired from it, and that drinking makes it worse, and second-hand smoke makes you cough...

    I'm still at the pre-TTC planning stage, and my fiance and I are having to lie through our teeth to conceal the fact that we've quit drinking and coffee. In the end we decided to each tell one friend, and they've agreed to help us cover it up (e.g. by not offering us these things in the first place, so we don't have to refuse them in front of everyone). Is there maybe one person you could tell who could be trusted to help?

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  3. *drinking alcohol and coffee, even.

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  4. So many things....I way agree that there can be an excuse for everything! My co-worker is wearing large sweaters and the office is still clueless that she's six months along! You could be getting over a bug (therefore no alcohol or smoking, being nauseated, etc.) which takes care of most of your list! But if your family is like mine, NO one will buy it. Last family get-together I drank a bottle of beer just to prove I wasn't pregnant! lol

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  5. So did you keep it a secret? I managed to keep mine a secret even though all of my family members and 3 of my girlfriends all asked "so are you pregnant yet?". I kinda wanted to tell but was nervous to after a weird ultrasound at week 7 on Dec. 23rd. Great timing for that one :-P

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